Stories I only tell my friends; the school bus

Stories I only tell my friends (the school bus story.)

Thanks to Rob Lowe for that idea. I have lots of stories I have only told my friends, co-workers and strangers on the street. I have not, shared them with you. So, without further ado here is one true story that has not been embellished nor exaggerated nor dramatize for television purposes.

It figures. I got behind a school bus leaving the high school when I was in a hurry to get back to work. The school bus slowly inched down the road as the minutes ticked quickly passed. Even on this sunny day with my windows down and the sun on my face, I couldn’t relax and just smell the roses; I needed to get back to work.

The high school kids in the school bus must have been bored and looking for cheap entertainment. Many of them were plastering their faces against the back window looking at me, laughing. I kept my sunglasses on knowing they couldn’t see me roll my eyes.  Just let me get to work. And then, something changed. One kid pulled down his pants and pressed his butt checks against the back window. I couldn’t believe I saw the full moon. No half Monte, the full deal.

The kids looked at me and laughed and laughed. Fortunately the bus schlepped into the left hand lane to turn and I lunged alongside briefly waiting for the light to change. The Full-Monte kid pulled down the school bus window and shouted at me, “Hey lady, didn’t you like the show?”

“Not really” I said back to Mr. Monte.

“Why didn’t ya like the show lady?” He seemed puzzled I didn’t like the moon shot while his buddies laughed in the back ground.

“I just know if I was going to press my bum against the window, I’d clean it first. Maybe then, I’d enjoy the show.” I replied.

And the bus erupted in laughter. I am sure I had a smug look on face and if I could of high-fived myself for coming up with such a quick witted response, I would of.

I drove away from that moment with one constant thought on my mind; some kid at the high school is now known as “dirty butt boy.”

I wonder if they will put that in the yearbook.