One Big Wave

A skilled rider. Not me.

“Where are you?” Mandy is demanding my presence. She is one of the 11 women I am camping with on the 5^th annual girl’s weekend out. This year, we have a huge, five bedroom house in the resort town of Sunriver River. Yes, it’s still considered 

camping when you eat off paper plates.

“I’m at Starbucks” I reply with the no-duh tone in my voice.

“Are you crazy girl, how far away is that?” Mandy quizzes me. It’s only 12 miles away in Bend Oregon, not too far to drive for coffee. Mandy wants me to drive right back so we can try out our surfing skills at the indoor wave-pool at the local Aquatic and Fitness Center in Sunriver.

It’s not a “wave pool,” rather just one wave designed just for boogie boards and surfing. And for a small fee we are going to try it out. In public, in front of other people. I believe that learning to surf even on an artificial wave should be an activity one try’s and perfects in private. However, private lessons were $100 bucks an hour. Too much for this recently laid-off, part time temporary worker on a girls-out-weekend-camping gal.

The wave is about twenty feet long, twenty feet high. Bleachers at the end of the wave pool for the public to sit and relax and watch you wipe out. Sweet. If you want to ride the boogie board, you walk the slight incline up the right side of the wave, put your board in and ride. If you want to actually stand up and use a mini surf board, you start at the base of the wave. And the lifeguards alternate the riders.

My first ride was a piece of cake, I put in my board in, flopped on my belly and straight down I went. End of ride. Two seconds and done.  The lifeguard tells me I need to use my shoulders to go back and forth in the wave.

It's actually a trick called a 360.

Second try, I careen to the left and within a half a second I’m off my board the wave shoots me up to the top like a tumbling rag doll.  Each ride afterwards I got progressively worse. And my dismounting, okay it’s really falling off my board and get out of the wave was embarrassing. I kept getting stuck in the powerful edges of the wave and couldn’t get out nor did I want to get out when I knew my top was almost completely down and my bottoms were thong style with plenty of flesh showing. 

The force of the wave was strong enough to completely rip off my rock-star nail polish. So now I’m riding with naked toes.

If only if I can get out of this wave

At one point, the lifeguard had to turn off the wave machine so I could get out. I think I heard a few teenagers snickering. It’s a good thing my family wasn’t around nor was I in a city where people actually knew me for as I could have never lived that one down.

The only way I can live through this humiliation is coffee and beer. In that order. Back to Starbucks I go. Since I’m in Bend, I can find Deschutes Brewery.

Prost.